Dating Assessment – Health Check

 In Astral Projection, Mindfulness, Out-of-Body, Reflection, Relationships, Resiliency

A few years ago, after a long term relationship I decided to do a dating assessment. This was really more of a personal health check for my own reflection. My rules were no intimacy and to be as open and honest as possible. Like attracts like but so much of this is unconscious. I wanted to see what I was attracting into my life. The things that we notice more in others are often buried deep within our self.

Why…

As I reflected on my relationships and childhood, I found many similarities throughout my experiences. My intent was to help me get clarity on what I desired in a partner and relationship. I also wanted shed light on any healing and inner work that I would need to do, while looking objectively at the people I was attracting into my life. We transform and change when we redirect our focus back within. When we look outwardly in blame towards others, we continue to repeat similar unconscious patterns.

Past baggage…

Almost everyone I met was still carrying around their past pain. It’s as though we’ve become conditioned to just ‘patch’ things up and move onto another person. Each time we are adding to our baggage without ever fully healing and releasing it. When I saw this in others I knew a part of it existed within myself. As I went deeper into reflecting and meditating, I found some emotional wounds for me to heal and release.

Release and heal…

We must be willing to release our past and do the inner work to heal, if we desire a healthy relationship. How is it that we think we can just move from one to the next and be able to build a healthy foundation? As we get healthier the people we meet will reflect our changes. We might still get triggered but we can remain mindful to avoid reacting, projecting or closing up. This will allow us to remain open and vulnerable so that we can create that space with another to foster emotional safety. To create this space both parties need to be in alignment on their understanding of love. Practice whatever methods that work for you to do the inner work and increase your self-love as you open up to life again. For myself, I combined self-hypnosis, meditation and out-of-body experiences to aid with healing and shedding old limiting aspects of the self.

Opening up to love…

In my assessment, I realized how few are actually willing to be open to a deep and fulfilling unconditional love. Many say that they want the magic of a deep and fulfilling love but few are willing to show up to create that. This can be very uncomfortable and actually triggering if we lack this from within. We must become grounded within our self-love first so that we can help create that space with another. For me personally, I realized that I needed to release all of my past so that I could fully open up to experiencing the presence of love with another.

Starting from within….

Too often we seek out a partner to complete us before we become complete within our self. This often leads to projections when they fail to meet this impossible task. No one can make us feel complete, that all comes from within and self-love is crucial for this. Without self-love as a foundation we end up reacting more and pointing at others as the cause. To foster emotional safety, we must be willing to be completely open and vulnerable with our self so that we can create this space with another. The more I worked on myself the deeper my love expanded within. Our outer world is really a reflection of our deepest inner state, the state that we most often reside in. The more self-love we have, that is complete and unconditional acceptance of the self, the more we open up to life and others.

Getting clear…

I realized how unclear I was in what I desired. I had created an ideal partner list and while that worked wonders I began to see limitations in that. What I desired defied logic and so the scariest thing for me to do was fully let go and embrace all possibilities. I desired a soul-based connection, a love between two people that is beyond this realm. A result of two self-realized individuals coming together with a similar heart, both willing to create that space together. This is what led to experiencing the presence of love. This requires both parties to be completely open and vulnerable with one another. No reactions, no defenses, but really listening and sharing that space freely and openly. Practicing presence is key here. A connection like this is not something that we ‘see’ with the physical but something that we see from the heart. As I realized this I threw out my detailed partner list and all the other limitations, such as astrology and other factors. Then I used OBE to channel the presence of a soul partner. The possibilities are endless! Focus on yourself and be willing to open up to life for that’s where the magic happens.

Until next time,
James-Simon

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